5 Amazon Products Most Likely Go Terminator

Clearly humans will eventually be overrun by machines. If 22 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies don’t make that obvious, maybe the fact that we have all given over our lives to cell phones will convince you all. The future is pretty bleak but hey, the apps were fun while they were not trying to dig tunnels in our retinas with lasers!

To help prepare you for a world with machine overlords I want to list some innocent looking machines that could take you by surprise if you let your guard down. This list won’t save humanity but it might stave off the machines for a couple of months so we can enjoy a few more binge weekends of Netflix. Here are 5 Amazon products that will be a part of the machine uprising. Careful how you use your Prime account.

 

5. Sure these JayBird BlueBuds provide great sound and give you more freedom with your music. But once AI is achieved they are a prime candidate for choke holds on joggers, mundane service providers, and music lovers in general. Keep a bread tie on them to prevent them from having the slack to kill you off.
4. Alarm clocks are great while society is in tact. However i can see these little devices terminating a few thousand sleepy headed humans by going off every three hows to prevent folks from reaching REM sleep….like ever again.

3. A radio for the shower! Cool! I love music in the shower but hate it when i can’t change the song as the music player sits on the sink. Controlling the tunes under the shower head is perfect…until the rise of the machines starts up and BAM! Electrocuted!
2. They said get in shape. They said biking will clear the mind of stress. All true, until the once helpful bike GPS sends you off a cliff as part of the evil machine world’s plan.
1. The Fitbit is awesome for getting in shape and tracking progress toward great health. Know what else it’s great for once humans become targets in the age of machines? Cutting off circulation to your hand making you more apt to be attacked by blenders, vacuums, and lawn mowers.
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